Technically homeless

Bec’s life changed forever, with the world she knew slipping away, because of her husband’s violent outbursts. Escaping from her home, Bec was battered, bruised and fearing for her life but determined to find safety even though her options were painfully limited.

She was offered a spot in a boarding house but fear held Bec back as she had heard too many stories from other women who had endured violence even in places that were supposed to be safe.

With nowhere else to go, Bec – being in her mid-forties – made the tough decision to live out of her car, a Subaru Forester. Sadly, she felt her car would be a safer option and hoped it would offer her the peace she desperately needed.

Originally from a small town in regional Victoria, Bec understood it would be difficult to hide from her ex-husband there, so she decided to drive to Melbourne in the hopes of better avoiding him and having more opportunities to find casual work.

Out of fear, Bec only took on casual jobs and moved spots every night, never staying too long in one place just in case. Every night, Bec also took the precaution of parking in front of a police station, believing it would be safer.

With the little money she earned from her casual jobs, Bec paid for a gym membership that had branches all over Melbourne; this enabled her to be flexible with locations. The gym also allowed her to shower and keep her body and mind as healthy as possible under the difficult circumstances. The daily routine is something Bec clung to because it provided a sense of normality and practicality as she used the facilities to iron her clothes and prepare herself for work or job interviews.

Having worked as an office manager prior to leaving her home, Bec now temps and does various admin jobs. She works hard to present herself neatly, so no one would be aware of her situation and judge or potentially reject her.

Afraid of letting anyone too close, Bec avoids making connections with others and keeps her distance from work colleagues. She knows that any slip could threaten the fragile stability she has managed to create. However, the nomadic lifestyle, dictated by fear and the need to stay invisible and has left her weary and emotionally drained. Each passing week, the loneliness weighs on her more, intensifying her sense of vulnerability and weariness and adding to her financial worries.

It was on a day when Bec felt the weight of her situation more than ever, she decided to call the metropolitan Vinnies Welfare Assistance Line. Bec’s support worker had given her the contact details, but she never wanted to call, determined to manage her situation herself. However, with her budget stretched thin, she was struggling and barely had anything left.

While on the call, Bec was given locations of the soup van stops close to the police station she had parked at for the night.

Bec watched the Vinnies Soup Van from a distance, debating with herself and afraid of being judged. She had dressed carefully, maintaining her usual neat appearance and was worried people might wonder why she needed help.

Finally, Bec took the chance and approached the soup van.

“I was so nervous to ask for help. I kept thinking “What if they ask why I need food when I’m dressed for work?” I shouldn’t have worried; the volunteers were so kind. They didn’t judge me for a second.”

As she apologised to the volunteers for taking food, she was instantly reassured that food is given to everyone without questions and judgment.

“The volunteers treated me like anyone else. No pity. No questions. Just kindness. It reminded me that there’s still good in the world, and maybe, one day, I’ll be able to look back on this time and know I wasn’t as alone as I felt.”

Bec also realised that people lining up with her came from all walks of life and, some, were in similar circumstances to herself – working but technically homeless.

“I’ve always tried to present myself well for work. It’s my way of holding on to some normality and dignity but to be able to open-up, be seen and supported by people who understand my situation and don’t judge, that’s something I didn’t expect when I just asked for food. It’s the comfort I really needed.

“I’m so grateful not just for the food but for the reminder that I’m not alone in this. The volunteers told me they’ve seen so many people struggling, even people you’d never suspect. That gives me hope – it shows me that I’m not the only one, and others have found their way out. So maybe, I will too.”

Encouraged by the support Bec was able to discuss her situation to the volunteers and they connected her with various services including financial planning and health services.

“I’d almost forgotten what it was like to have a real deep chat with someone. I never thought that talking to the soup van volunteers could make such a difference in how I feel. I realised there are people who truly care, who want to help you keep going. It’s easy to feel invisible and like you are the only one going through this tough time. Thank God for the Vinnies volunteers.”